Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just high enough for therapy.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
