they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
