I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
