I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
