I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I supernannyed him into submission
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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