She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
