After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
