I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
