where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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