weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
