I love black thongs
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
