I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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