I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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