you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
A+ Viking dick
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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