if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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