Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
