Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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