I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
