We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
false alarm. still invincible.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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