I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize