how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize