running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
