You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
