Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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