Pappa wants mamma naked
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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