i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
