if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
