Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
