So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
