I seem to have left my pride at pride
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
