Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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