dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize