Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
