I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize