so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
