Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
