Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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