Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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