Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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