I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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