so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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