This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize