Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
