Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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