ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
