I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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