i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
