I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
