There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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