I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
