She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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