It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
