this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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