I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
