Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...

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(+61): View more from Australia

She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.

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(785): View more from Kansas

A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.

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(205): View more from Alabama

the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.

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(631): View more from New York

I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww

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