The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
