he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
