let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
