is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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