lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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