So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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