If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
