She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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