Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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