i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think people are normalizing furries
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
