she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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