I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
