So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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