just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
