Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
