Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yo dont text me then not text me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
