Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
