You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
